Moms in the media

It was so nice to attend Momcafe last Friday without having to worry how my little guy was settling in with the child care. After two experiences of him having to sit with me through the presentations, I made other child care arrangements (convenient that Grandma was in town that day). So I was able to network with other moms and enjoy the presentations without distractions.

Today’s speakers were Moms behind the Headlines: Andrea Vance, Publisher of WestCoast Families; and Tamara Taggart, CTV Weathercaster.

Andrea talked about her path to becoming an entrepreneur and publisher. Tamara talked more about how she makes it work today.

It was interesting to hear Andrea talk about her late days and nights working at EA. How that lead to a late night life discussion over Rum and Cokes, with her now husband. And how that led to her quitting her high paying job with nothing to go to and no plan.

The biggest transitions for her were:

• Learning to work from home. How to get out of bed and out of your PJs everyday. She realized she had to think about it as ‘work’ and to prepare herself for each day, as she was going to the office. And some days that might mean staying in her sweats for the day.
• Thought she could plan her transition to being a parent. She had 9 months to get organized. She isn’t a big planner, but feels that her work plan went well. The home plan did not go to plan, and the anticipated labour distribution plan had to be adjusted after the baby was born.

For her balance is about dealing with whatever has to get done and that she goes to bed feeling like she (and her child) ate and that things got done that needed to be done.

For her the question should not be what is next? But what is next next? What is the passion or ultimate goal?

It was interesting listening to Tamara and really relating to a number of the things she said about her life. She works in the ‘soul sucking business of TV’ (I used to work in the soul sucking business of advertising). And she waited until she was older to have kids, only because she didn’t meet the right person until she was older (same story for me). She is a worry wart and had challenges realizing that when you have kids you have to give up some of the control (amen sister).

She believes she can have it all. You just have to prioritize differently.

It was interesting listening to her story about her oldest child Beckett who was diagnosed with Downs Syndrome 5 days after he was born. Her pregnancy had been easy, and all the tests had been good. So she and her husband were completely unprepared and knew nothing about downs syndrome.  She had to learn fast. The difference in her situation is that she had to go through it in front of the public.

She addressed why she went back to work after 4 months after both children - “because they needed the money”. It is the most expensive time of your life and you only qualify for EI. So she went back to work. I appreciated that while not everyone in the room would agree with her, she was unapologetic. It was her choice for her family. She doesn’t judge others decisions and she doesn’t expect anyone should judge hers. (note to those who want to express their opinion to her in the grocery store – make sure she isn’t holding a jug of milk).

She talked about the Regis show as a ‘big show with a small town mentality’. They really made her feel comfortable and she was surprised by how laid back they were. And that helped revitalize her idea of what she does. And to her it is very important to love what she does.

How does she manage with her busy schedule?

• She has a team. Her mom, a part time nanny and of course her husband.
• Being home for bedtime is mandatory. Most nights both parents are home for bedtime, but there is always at least one of them there.
• Prioritizing her time – cause frankly she’d rather shop for the kids than herself these days.
• Nothing comes before her family.  And work knows this.  "It is what it is".  Although she does have to remind herself of that every so often.

One of the questions for Tamara was how she handles privacy for her family. She is a pretty open person (says she answer anything but her weight). She doesn’t want to hide her children, nor make Beckett a poster child for downs syndrome. But he is fantastic and wants other people to see that. Of course being in the public she does have to consider safety issues, and has had stalkers. 

Like all parents she doesn’t seem to have a concrete answer to all the questions. She notes that she replaced her Us magazines with mommy blogs and loves to learn from them. On the flip side she doesn’t have the answers, but if someone can learn from her then great.

 Both Tamara and Andrea seem, like most parents, to take it day by day and try to make the best decisions for their families and themselves.   Doing something you are patient about is key no matter what you do.

Recipe for a headache OR something for everyone

Crazy week!!. I've been trying to squeeze as many networking events into my schedule as possible - before they cease for the summer. So this week I attended 4 very different events for 4 very different reasons - Hydro, Cancer, KickAss and twittering Moms..... Frankly my brain is more than a bit full from the diversity that was my week. Am I really such an interesting person, or do I need to get a little more focus??


Wednesday lunch - Board of Trade, featuring Bob Elton, President of BC Hydro.

BC Hydro is on my top 10 places to work list, so I felt it was important to go and hear what Bob had to say about the vision of Hydro. I learnt a few things and realized some gap areas in my research. I won't give too much away here as I want to save the good stuff for my cover letter. The highlight of the lunch though, was the lady that I sat next to and with which I shared a great conversation over lunch (oh yeah, and I learnt salmon can remember back 80 years from before the hydro dam was built).

Wednesday night - Community Forum held by BC Breast Cancer Foundation.

This was relevant to me as I had my first >40 mammogram that week and it seemed appropriate and timely to go to this information session. BC is unique in that any woman over 40 can get a mammogram free of charge without a Doctor's referral - just call 1-800-663-9203. Early detection is key and a quick 10 minute test seems so easy.

This was the first ever Community Forum to connect CBCF with the community. We got to listen to an interesting expert talk about breast cancer prevention across the lifespan. The usual advise was heard... everything in moderation (especially when it comes to alcohol)... eat healthy to maintain a healthy weight.... be active... get screened. But I noted some interesting info that I hadn't heard before:

• Breastfeeding has shown to lower incidence (in the baby & in the mom)
• Activity at ANY age helps - never too late. But women who are active in their younger years have even lower risk than those who become active older in life.
• Research is showing more and more evidence that 2nd hand smoke is a strong risk factor.
• Some evidence that Vitamin D decreases your risk.
• Hormone replacement therapy should be avoided if possible.

We also heard a very inspirational story from a volunteer. But the laugh out loud (but not really funny) moment came from another survivor in the room, who having lived a healthy, active life realized that perhaps growing up in an airtight winter proofed house in New Brunswick with 2 smoking parents might have contributed to her illness.

Thursday night - League of Kickass Business People.

Yes this group certainly wins the award for the best name. Smaller group event. A lot of marketing, advertising and social media types.

I went to this event with a couple of former colleagues from the Rick Hansen Foundation. We all knew a few folks so it was easy to mingle and chat with people. The topic was the 2010 Olympics and maximizing your opportunities. Frankly it could have been called "Its not too late". A great diverse crowd of presentations. Event was live tweeted by TrevorRoald under #LOK. He captured some good nuggets.

I have to say it is this type of event that is hard on you when you are out of work. You need to attend this type of event to network and find work. Brought me back to my blog about networking and the dentist http://tjrramblings.blogspot.com/2009/03/networking-or-dentist.html. But it really made me realize how much more I know about myself today and the confidence I put forward is about what I know and who I am. NOT who I work for.

Friday morning - MomCafe... Moms are all a Twitter.

Finally I went to my first MomCafe event. I wanted to meet other professionally minded Moms and hear what a couple of great mompreneurs had to say about using twitter (Anne Marie from @yoyomama_van and Sue from @raspberrykids talk). Lovely, casual event, easy to chat with mom's about all sorts of things (including whether we should half the healthy and non-healthy monster sized muffins and then we could have a bit of both... we did BTW). The frustrating part came from my lovely toddler, who just discovered separation anxiety about a week ago. Nannies on call had to find me about 30 minutes into the program. Thankfully he sat nicely with me for a bit, but then I had to walk him around to keep him amused. And yes, for those at the session he was the aspiring Canadian Idol at the back of the room. Event was live tweeted by yoyobelly under #mctweet.

MomCafe started me thinking that maybe I need to take a good look at what I've learnt about my self in the past 10 months. Meaning re-evaluating my thoughts on doing contract work OR just starting my own business. And that REALLY makes my head hurt.